Friday, December 23, 2005

Confessions of the Stiletto Mafia

So Will Folks writes for FITS ... REALLY!!! What else is news??? If the pre-filed bills, Top Ten lists and that story about Sanford selling a dozen counties in his budget didn't give it away, then somebody needs a proper introduction to our good friend, Captain Obvious.

Sadly, whatever prodigiousness our boy sic Willie obviously possesses in the eloquence category, the rest of FITS' Stiletto crew can promise you he most assuredly lacks in terms of technical proficiency. Picture a hamster running in circles in your sixth-grade science class and that's our hero attempting to grasp the complexities of the world wide web.

Keep in mind this is the same moron who once upon a time in the Governor's Office called the State CIO to complain that his computer "wasn't working" only to find he had over 200 documents running and had failed to re-boot his machine ... once ... in the previous six months.

FITS is (thankfully) a team effort, and our growing fan base will be pleased to know that the artist currently known as Will Folks is not responsible in the least for keeping us up and running. As a matter of fact, we have a hard enough time getting him to send us his two promised posts a week (must be tough on our boy, running an imaginary consulting firm and all).

In reality, Will (like most men) is good for fewer things than can be counted on one hand. Specifically, as far as FITS is concerned, he is good for not much beyond the following four, operationally-defined, mutually-exclusive tasks - 1) taking the political rap for whatever gets posted on this website, 2) dispensing with enough "celebrity" drama to fill a year's worth of US magazine, 3) providing amazing, multiple-O, lesbian-quality female oral and 4) sporadically sending us some of the funniest political satire available anywhere in the SC blogosphere.

Just remember, behind every good man there's a good woman ... or two ... or three.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

so who else does the website Mr. Folks? and how does that person or persons know about you and the state CIO office? sounds like someone else who once worked in the governor's office.

6:07 PM

Blogger Free Carolina said...

This post leads us to believe one or two things.

1. Either Mr. Folks actually has friends, or

2. Mr. Folks' mind has split into several characters.

The reference to women is an obvious one. As long as Daytime talk shows, like Jerry Springer, exist, there will be women with little to no self-respect who will flock to Mr. Folks.

Sad indeed.

12:08 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Come on. Will Folks is single, smart, hot and runs his own company.

I think plenty of women are already flocking to him.

8:45 PM

Blogger Free Carolina said...


I see Rebecca Dulin has free time on her hands over the holidays.

See my earlier reference.

9:23 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Who is Rebecca Dulin? And what does she have to do with Will Folks being hot or not?

10:24 AM

Blogger Free Carolina said...

Fair enough. Not important and nothing.

My apologies for the overly personal statement.

Though, I am still convinced that Mr. Folks and his many friends all reside in the same head.

3:59 AM

Anonymous Rebecca Dulin said...

For the record, I only post under my own name. And to answer your question, anonymous: your guess is as good as mine...

Semper: if you ask me, I wouldn't say Folks is "hot" per se, rather "relatively attractive." And the "plenty of women already flocking" could be more accurately described as 18- to 21-year-old late-night Backporch frequenters.

Kidding, Will... well sorta... :)

3:15 PM

Anonymous Will Folks said...

I'm not hot. One date in the last five months isn't exactly lighting it up. I'll take smart, though.

5:55 PM


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