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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Oscar Grouchy, Shealy Blames Sic Willie for Sign Flap


FITS has learned that "Republican" gubernatorial candidate Dr. Oscar Lovelace has run into a little trouble delivering his message of increased taxes, no choices for parents and sworn allegiance to our state's 1895 system of government to the people.

According to this morning's (Myrtle Beach) Sun News, Dr. Loveless, the most recent inept manifestation of has-been political consultant Rod Shealy, Sr.'s impotent rage against Governor Mark Sanford, had nearly two dozen of his "Lo(insert Palmetto State cutout)elace - A New Governor" signs plucked off the highways in Horry County. Local officials told the Sun News that Dr. Zhivago's signs were illegally placed in public rights of way well in advance of 45 days before the June Republican primary.

Dr. Strangelove reportedly ran into similar problems with illegal sign postings in Sumter County.

When contacted for a response, Dr. Feelgood's campaign manager Rod Shealy, Sr., also known as Dr. Evil, laid the blame squarely on our hero sic Willie.

"About thirty of our signs were stolen from a Prosperity warehouse last week and given that a door had been kicked in, we recognized immediately that we were dealing with Will Folks," Shealy said. "He obviously stole these signs, placed them illegally along the roadside and tipped off the local media."

It's not the first time Shealy, Sr. has taken sic Wilie to task. The King of Slime once went on record with a Charleston television station during the 2004 Chip Campsen-John Kuhn Senate primary attempting to claim that a press release written by the governor himself criticizing his candidate was actually not from the governor, but rather from Folks.

"This is nothing more than the work of an overzealous staffer," Shealy, Sr. told Charleston WCSC-TV 5 at the time.

Sanford later confirmed dictating the release verbatim over the phone to Folks and Campsen ended up thrashing Kuhn at the ballot box, 57% to 43%.

Shealy Sr.'s last gubernatorial candidate, then-sitting Secretary of State Jim Miles, finished in fifth place in a seven-way GOP primary vote in 2002, collecting less than 5% of the vote.

Of course Shealy, Sr. is supremely confident in Dr. Moon River's ability to knock off the governor.

"On June 13, you'll see the biggest upset this state has ever seen," Shealy, Sr., told The (Columbia) State Newspaper yesterday.

Maybe these geniuses should figure out how to put up a sign properly first.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

C'mon. It's Christmas/the holidays. Give poor ol' Rod and his boy Rod/Ross/Rush a break. Help lift him back up where he belongs by buying his training tapes CE5/0316 "Going Negative: Why, When & How"
and CE5/0331 Buzzmaking: Creating a Stir for Your Candidate".

What great stocking stuffers for all the others on the FITS "all I want for Christmas" list! Learn the Atwater method before it's too late!! Call now!

8:22 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get over yourselves. Don't you have anything better to do than come up with lame slam-names like "The King of Slime"?

10:44 AM

 
Blogger faithinsound said...

Dear Anon,

We most assuredly have better things to do ... we just weren't doing them at the time.

You're right, though, "King of Slime" just doesn't capture the full Shleazy-ness, does it?

We promise to do better in the future.

Kisses, FAITH

12:51 PM

 

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