... IRREVERENCE, INSTITUTIONALIZED ...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Kid in Burma Hatin' on SC


Her name is Chay-Ki (pictured left), and she is a friendly, outgoing, adorable six-year old Burmese girl. But Chay-Ki's teachers were shocked yesterday to find the message "South Carolina Sux" scrawled on the first-grader's art notebook.

"Chay-Ki didn't like hearing the governor of South Carolina talk about his school children competing with the Burmese in his big State of the State speech," said Nid, Chay-Ki's principal. "Everybody knows American schools stink and that South Carolina's schools are the stinkiest in all of America."

Although incredibly cute and sweet, Chay-Ki nonetheless had a stern message for South Carolinians after her artwork generated an international firestorm.

"South Carolina continually refuses to embrace market principles that have proven effective at expanding educational opportunity and enhancing academic achievement everywhere else they have been implemented," the six-year old told a throng of reporters while playing after school with her Burmese Barbies. "Unless the competitive forces that drive success in the business world are brought to bear on the state's monopolistic public school system, South Carolinians should expect to continue losing out on new high-paying, high-tech jobs as my people further deplete their manufacturing sector of existing jobs."

Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer agreed with Chay-Ki, but said the governor would not apologize for referencing her and her classmates in his State of the State speech last week.

"Chay-Ki is exactly what the governor is talking about in terms of how competitive the world has become," Sawyer said. "We should all heed her warning."

"Lil" Bucky Skinner, a two-hundred pound first-grader in Allendale County, was asked to respond to Chay-Ki's analysis of the impact of competition on monopolistic educational marketplaces such as South Carolina's, but his parents, "Big" Bucky and Chastity Skinner, refused to make the boy available for comment outside the family's mobile home in Ulmer, S.C.

"Hell, we can't even read," Chastity Skinner told FITS. "How in tarnation d'jou 'speck Lil' Bucky to figger out all dat jibbrish?"

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this will is nothing moer than a blatnat attsack on tht public school ststem here in asouth carolhinea. will do tyou have hnothing mroe to do that attackignt all of the perople that are workginh to hel-p0 make our shcoools the best thaae they can be? yes it msut be very easy gfor hyuou to sti back an jsut attack all of the tieme.

1:08 AM

 
Blogger faithinsound said...

Wow. Either you are from rural South Carolina or were born with inordinately large fingers.

1:12 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That kid be drinkin' Hate-orade.

9:01 AM

 
Anonymous skinny said...

I don't know about you FITS, but I am proud to call myself a "asouth carolhinean"...
or should it be an "asouth carolhinean"

SKINNYYY!!!

10:14 AM

 

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