... IRREVERENCE, INSTITUTIONALIZED ...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Gilda, This Blog's For You


Former House Minority Leader Gilda Cobb-Hunter (left) swears she doesn't "do the blogs."

Well, we at FITS are about to fix that.

And besides girlfriend, somebody from the Democratic side of the aisle has gotta get hip to the new new media scene, particularly when you've got Sen. Robert (I)Ford out there telling folks that e-mail is a "tool of the aristocracy."

Well, we at FITS are about to become "tools of the Gilda-stocracy."

Long one of our absolutest favoritest legislators, the gals at FITS have gotten together and decided that the best way to get Gilda to pay us a visit is, well, to completely and shamelessly suck up to her.

So without further adieu, FITS is proud to announce the inaugural Gilda Y. Cobb-Hunter "I Got My Four Eyes on You, Baby" Award.

In case you haven't met Gilda, girlfriend is the life of the party.

She says whatever the hell she wants, talks to whoever the hell she wants and when she sizes you up from behind those oversized glasses, you'd better pray you've got your shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snip-snap together. Otherwise you're in for an "Oh Puuuuuuuhleeeease" followed by a finger-waggin', neck-weavin', head-bobbin', shoulder-shakin' rebuke that'll make you wish you did.

It's not that Gilda isn't sweet, it's just that she's pretty much the "Sista in Charge 'Round Here" (well, her and Jenny Sanford, at least) and her tolerance for bulls**t is about as low as Rep. Annette Young's BAC is high.

Anyway, each week our roving team of reporters has been charged with tracking down Gilda somewhere and finding out who she's got her four eyes on.

This week's winner is State Rep. Dan Tripp, who was spotted gettin' his gab on with Gilda at the Back Porch restaurant last night. No word on whether he invited her back to chill at the so-called "Quinn Home for Wayward Boys" with roomates Tumpy Campbell and our favorite bad boy, Sic Willie.

Anyway, winners receive the honor of a rump-shakin', flo-stomping grind with Gilda to the song "Rosa Parks" by Outkast. Losers have to slow dance to "Crimson and Clover" (over and over) with Rep. Becky Martin.

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