Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Sanford Shouldn't Debate Lovelace

Whether its the State's Lee Bandy, Rod Shealy, Jr. over at the Shealy Wagging Blog or Ross Shealy over at the Shealy Barbecue Blog, a growing chorus of about eight people (most of whom just happen to have the last name Shealy) are demanding that Gov. Mark Sanford debate his so-called "Republican" primary opponent, Dr. Oscar Lovelace of Newberry.

A recent "Top Ten" list outlined reasons the governor should debate Lovelace, so FITS is pleased to offer for your consideration the Top Ten reasons he shouldn't:

10. You have to actually be a Republican to a debate in a Republican Primary. Talk to Tommy Moore and Frank Willis, Oscar, that's the debate for you.

9. "I'm for raising our cigarette tax to create jobs," only takes a couple of seconds to say. Debates last for over an hour - and you want three of them. That's two more debates than your campaign has ideas.

8. You've got $64,000 cash on hand. The governor's got $5 million. Elephants don't debate fleas sitting on their asses.

7. We're all very sorry your consultant's sister got booted from the Worker's Compensation Board, but it really is about time all of you Shealy-ites got the f--- over it.

6. Riverbanks Zoo has a lot of monkeys, many of them with red, hairless butts. You're welcome to have a "Primate Debate" with one of them, but a "Primary Debate" with the governor is a little bit out of your league.

5. Incumbency has its privileges, one of which is not having to waste three hours on some idiot whose sole basis for running is his consultant's impotent rage.

4. Watching 'Desperate Housewives' actually is a better use of the governor's time than debating you. Heck, staring at a turned-off television set for an hour is a better use of the governor's time than debating you.

3. You probably wouldn't be able to understand the chart showing South Carolina's unemployment rate steadily dropping.

2. In order to participate in a Republican Gubernatorial Primary Debate, you have to be able to correctly spell 'Republican Gubernatorial Primary Debate.' Go on, take your time ...

1. The governor is just trying to spare you that awkward moment when the topic of "Medicaid Reform" comes up, forcing you to acknowledge that your medical practice is a case study for why we need it.

Now go and have some fun with the monkeys at the zoo, Oscar!


Anonymous lovelace sucks said...

You forgot this one:
Oscar has already had 11 debates with the governor before Republican voters. They were called county conventions. Would you like to see the results again?

3:41 PM

Blogger The Body Politic - Joshua Gross said...

Stiletto mafia:

This one's a classic and a keeper. Very funny stuff.

4:29 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love #8. :)

5:49 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes clearly the pro-Sanford conventions were really secret debates. Though the governor would get as much time as he would like, usually around 5-6 minutes, Dr. Lovelace was always limited in time, usually 2-3 minutes. But as you have pointed out they were actually debates- thanks for clearing that up.

10:30 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so Mark doesn't have time to debate Oscar because he is busy working with the legislature this session, but he has time to ride his bike all around the state.......I want to see Sanford vs. Lovelace in a fitness challenge, NO make that a triathlon.

11:26 PM

Anonymous David Beasley rules! said...

#1 Lovelace is not from Newberry.
#2 Sanford isn't really gonna spend any of his 5 million on a flea on his ass is he?
#3 Sanford did appoint Lovelace as chairman of his healthcare task force.
#4 You really think an MD who did his residency at University of Virginia is afraid to debate medical policies?
#5 Sanford did well in debates before, if Lovelace is this flea on his ass with no ideas, why not show the voters that on WIS. A couple hours of debate?, Not like the Gov. is upstairs or even on the phone with his legislative colleages, much less up in Greenville County when there is a disaster going on.

11:37 PM

Anonymous Gepetto said...

And when Loavlace speaks you can hardly see Rod's lips move... just like a would be Altman primary opponent.

8:44 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This stuff is crap. Not funny.

8:47 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sanford is a joke. His slogan 4 years ago was "leadership", yet despite a Republican majority in both the Senate and House my governor is so devoid of leadership that he has accomplished nothing. Furthermore, he passes the buck like a pro; its never his fault, its always that "backwards general assembly" that causes trouble. The governor should remember that the same people that elected him elected the general assembly. Working with others to better our state should be the primary goal of every Governor something this governor has forgotten. Sanford may well meet the same end as the previous two citizens that held his job for the same reason, arrogance.

11:47 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As to #10, Lovelace is a long time Republican - I know that he has supported Republicans and even hosted an event for Bob Inglis in his home when Congressman Inglis was running against Fritz Hollings.
Ask Mark Sanford why he campaigned for Phil Lader in 1986 when all real Republicans were supporting Carroll Campbell and Tommy Hartnett.

2:01 PM

Blogger faithinsound said...

Looks like the evolution from Baboon to Shealy is complete. They can type now!!! Hooray for opposable thumbs!!!!


3:07 PM

Blogger The Cackalacky Candidate said...

"5. Incumbency has its privileges, one of which is not having to waste three hours ....."

That's called biting the hand that feeds you. Apparently the Incumbent office holder feels that he does not have to "waste three hours" on the voters who fed him the votes that elected him to office.

No Debate, No Vote.

4:20 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Phil Lader is ancient news, like Rod Shealey's association with the phone-sex Hipp-o that tried to use that to cry RINO in the 1st CD runoff in '94. With a legislature that seems unwilling to make hard decisions, I can see that they'd buck leadership that opposes the status quo. I think Gepetto's right.

7:01 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another reason left out for not debating Lovelace is that Sanford is too elitist to associate with a lowlife although he would love their votes. Sanford was born on a plantation in Florida and like most who experienced the wide range of the world of work, he called working on his "farm" like working in a "concentration camp." Some are impressed that he wants to operate on the cheap to horde his fortune by accepting Adluh grits as an in-kind contribution for the state. I'm not. Or maybe Mama Sanford can play a piano concert to raise money for the budget. Remember, while in Congress, rank-in-file Republicans would not even vote him to a courtesy delegates position to the National GOP Convention like they did other such elected officials. Running against the legislature only goes so far. As far back as I remember every governor who had success did so by effectively forming coalitions in the legislature. Even Edwards and Campbell who had meager continents of their party amidst Democratic legislatures. As one who has worked a long time for a two-party system and the GOP, I am appalled that controlling the executive branch and the legislative branch has been at best far from what we hoped and at worst a nightmare. Sanford is one who is certain he has all the answers and measures results in the floating of ideas, however creative, but without the savvy to persuade and build coalitions to push them through. Instead of results, the ideas as an end in themselves are what Sanford credits himself with. The aw-shucks, "Hi, I'm Mark," my blazer-that-I-wear- to-the-point-that-it-gets-frayed mindset and pseudo image belies an arrogant elitist at heart. He trusts only his and his wife's judgment and the GOP has gotten behind him perfunctorily because this could be a disasterous year for the party based on Bush's numbers, to say nothing about Sanford's divisive hurtful actions toward the GOP.
Integrity means saying what you mean and doing what you say. When the peace pipe is smoked and the frost thawed with the legislature through agreement to get along and work together, a grandstanding announcement behind their back to take a swipe at them does nothing that you said you mean or do what you say.
A disaster as governor!
A second term of even more neglect so the Club of Growth can promote him for Prez to get him the veepship under McCain.

11:36 AM


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