FITS Exclusive: Will Folks Leaked Andre Bauer Story
FITS weekend bureau has just learned that the Andre Bauer speeding story dominating media coverage in the Palmetto State for the past week was leaked to the press by none other than Will Folks (left).
As it turns out, an intrepid new blog, The Adventures of Lewis and Oswald, has publicly fingered the former Sanford spokesman as the original source for the story that has the Bauer campaign in a freefall fast approaching terminal velocity ... or at least approaching 101 miles per hour according to records available at the South Carolina Department of Public Safety.
And although the new website's writing style is eerily similar to the English ineptitude displayed by a former Palmetto political blogger, it turns out its accusation was right on the money.
Responding to an e-mail inquiry from FITS weekend editor Laurie D., Folks had a one-word response when asked if the new website's allegations were in fact true.
"Yes," Folks' e-mail said.
This admission directly contradicts a statement posted on FaithInTheSound by Folks just three days earlier.
"Like the rest of South Carolina, I learned about Lt. Governor Bauer's recent traffic stops through reports in the news media," Folks posted to a FITS comment page on Thursday, March 30.
In addition to finally admitting that he leaked the Bauer story, a follow-up phone interview with the thirty-one year old founder of Viewpolitik, LLC, uncovered numerous startling admissions.
Among other evil deeds, Folks confessed to:
*Planning the Tet Offensive in 1968
*Setting the Reichstag Fire
*Recommending the launch of "New Coke" to Coca-Cola executives
*Arranging for the transportation of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction to neighboring Jordan prior to the start of the second Gulf War
*Committing the BTK murders
*Writing the screenplay for Basic Instinct 2
*Killing the Kennedys (all of them)
*Piloting the Exxon Valdez
*Organizing the Chinese response to Tiananmen Square
*Receiving oral sex from Monica Lewinsky
*Funneling money improperly during Iran-Contra
*Knowing Milli Vanilli was lip-synching but not telling anyone
*Providing steroids to Barry Bonds
*Pushing his ex-fiance into furniture
Folks denied having any connection with the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, D.C., but admitted providing steroids to the Arizona Diamondbacks during the 2001 World Series in an effort to undermine America's sentimental favorite, the New York Yankees ...
In all seriousness, people, if you haven't checked out former Queer as Folks blogger Paul Adams' latest handiwork over at Lewis and Oswald, you've got to give it a read.
Welcome back Paul! We missed you. Kisses - Laurie D.