Lite Gov Gets Serious?
We here at FITS honestly couldn't make up a press release as ridiculous as the one we think just came out of Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer's office ... and believe us, we've tried.
Our eminently mature (or is that Eminem-ently mature) second-ranking state official (above, demonstrating said maturity), may have urged the United States government today to "focus on issues that matter" in a curious press release related to the Doha Round of WTO trade negotiations.
Yes, you read that last sentence right, or at least we think you did ... reporters and other politicos across South Carolina are still scratching their heads in bewilderment this afternoon, wondering if Andre's office is really attempting to weigh in substantively on U.S. trade policy, or if someone is just having a little fun at the Lite Gov's expense.
Whatever the case, it's a sad day for South Carolina when so many people are forced to wonder whether or not our state's second-ranking official is capable of putting out a press release demonstrating anything remotely resembling gravitas, irrespective of its newsworthiness or relevance to his positon.
But anyway, after getting busted doing 101 in a 70 mph zone, using a fake police "call-sign" to get out of a ticket, lying to reporters about the incident, trying to blame his lead foot on Gov. Mark Sanford (for not giving him a $65,000 chauffer/babysitter), returning a Constable's certificate he hadn't even earned in a pitiful attempt to show he's not "above the law," having to clean the bikini-clad coeds off of his MySpace account and walking 12 miles to file his campaign papers ... here is (we think) the latest press release from the Lieutenant Governor's office (and be sure to picture him waxing on about the difference between free and fair trade from behind the wheel of his go-kart):
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Mike Easterday
April 12, 2006
New Study Raises Questions About Doha Round of Trade Negotiations - South Carolina Lt. Governor Urges U.S. Government to Focus on Issues That Matter
(COLUMBIA, S.C.) - Agricultural exports are essential to South Carolina’s farmers, and Lt. Governor Andre Bauer has consistently advocated free but fair trade. As a strong supporter of these principles, Lt. Governor Bauer urges the consideration of a recent paper written by Peter Morici, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Maryland--College Park.
The study, “The DOHA ROUND: No Help for America’s Trade Deficit?” concludes that, while a successful conclusion of the negotiations will provide modest benefits to American farmers, the Round is not addressing the practices, such as China’s manipulation of its currency, that are primarily responsible for the massive U.S. trade deficit, which reached $724 billion in 2005.
“This study raises very interesting questions and concerns,” said the Lt. Governor. “For example, the United States must still address some large issues with the WTO which may lead to greater exports of American and South Carolina-grown agricultural products."
Prof. Morici’s study explains that the negotiations are not addressing the most important barriers to U.S. exports, including China’s manipulation of its currency. The Lt. Governor also stated, “While I support the efforts of the current administration, the United States must continue to demand not only free trade but also fair trade. Until then, families in South Carolina and across the country will continue to bear the burden of our crushing trade deficit.”
Hmmm. A little dry. Perhaps this addition would have helped:
"Vrrrrooooom. Vrrrrroooooooom. Fair trade or bust, slowpoke!" concluded the Lt. Governor Bauer.