... IRREVERENCE, INSTITUTIONALIZED ...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Blurry Bauer: "I Invented the DMV"

He hasn't yet stooped to the level of Al Gore, but Lt. Governor Andre Bauer is coming perilously close to the same pile of self-aggrandizing horse manure that stuck to the former Vice President like a rotten road apple following his infamous "I invented the Internet" remark.

Turns out the lead-footed Lite Gov, whose campaign has been in a tailspin ever since consultant Rod Shealy uber-flubbed Bauer's speeding fiasco several weeks back, is seeking to reinvent himself to voters.

Problem is, he's having to pull an Al Gore to do it.

"When voters start paying attention nearer to the election, they'll focus on Bauer's strong record: reforming the filibuster, shorter lines at DMV, stopping over a billion dollars in new taxes, and, last week, casting the tie-breaking vote to keep property tax relief alive," Shealy said recently in The Greenville News.

Huh? Andre reformed the filibuster?

Actually, Bauer didn't reform the filibuster. Sen. Larry Martin and his staff, working with Sen. Glenn McConnell and Gov. Mark Sanford, did that.

Andre created shorter lines at the DMV? Seriously?

The only contribution Andre Bauer has made to shorter lines at the DMV is not being in one, which is where he should have been had the cops confiscated his license following his 101-mph jaunt down I-77. You can bet your bottom tax dollar that's where anybody else who pulled that kind of reckless indiscretion would have ended up once their suspension was over.

Again, Andre, the governor shortened lines at the DMV, not you.

Andre stopped a billion dollars in new taxes? When? How?

If history has proven anything, it's that the Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina can't stop an angry gnat, let alone a billion dollars in new taxes. In fact, Andre was supposed to lower taxes by delivering RINO Senators Jakie Knotts and Luke Rankin in 2004 on income tax relief in exchange for the plum Office on Aging he got from the Governor's Office.

Except he didn't.

Knotts and Rankin refused to end a filibuster that would have forced a vote on income tax relief in the Senate, and as a result your income tax rate is still effectively the highest in the Southeast.

We're sure Mr. Shealy has some hyper-convoluted, truth-twisting, redneck rationalization for how this latest exaggeration-on-Steroids can appear completely true. It'll probably be similar to the logic he used to convince Jim Miles that he was the frontrunner in the 2002 GOP Gubernatorial Primary, or the circus math he employed to keep Thomas Ravenel from waltzing into the Lt. Governor's Office this election cycle.

Mr. Shealy and other political operatives call it spin.

We call it bull----.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

will folks was just seen exiting a black jeep cherokee in front of the southtrust building talking on his cell phone saying "we got the podium."

methinks an anti-Staton press conference is in the works.

1:22 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did it mention pigs, horse and buggies or bank vaults?

Seriously, Bauer works his ass off in a part time job and takes it seriously, but we need to let him and Campbell and Bob Barber know that being a "glorified ribbon cutter" shouldn't cost 500,000 per election cycle...ever since Nick left and they stripped the Lt. Gove it gave Lite Gov a new meaning

2:51 PM

 
Anonymous Daniel said...

He'll slide by on the "stopping taxes" thing because of ruling them out of order, but the DMV thing is unbelievable. What could they possibly link Andre to that resulted in shorter DMV lines?

6:13 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andre Bauer is a horrible Lt. Governor.

1.) It is pretty sad when a law enforcement officer has to point a gun at the Lt. Governor (who is supposed to be a symbol of our state).

2.) Dear Anonymous:
What exactly has Andre Bauer done as Lt. Governor? He isn't doing anything for the office on Aging? (Expect maybe a few commercials).

3.) Dear Anonymous:
Do you think it is responsible of the Lt. Governor of South Carolina (or anyone). To be going over 101 MPH and then not ticketed?

4.)I pretended to be a supporter of Andre Bauer and I asked him very nicely why he was speeding...This was is EXACT answer:
"It's because I didn't have a security driver"
If Andre Bauer can't even drive w/o having a security driver...how can we expect him to be Lt. Governor?***

5.) Can you really say that Gov. Sanford really likes Andre Bauer? Although they would never say anything publicly, almost every state senator would say that they don't like Andre Bauer.

6.) Andre says he is a small business owner and has been since he was 12. I too mowed lawns when I was 12.
***Note: Mike Campbell is one of the most successful businessmen in South Carolina***

I could go on and on but, I am out of time. I will post more later.

3:08 PM

 

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