Blurry Bauer: "I Invented the DMV"
He hasn't yet stooped to the level of Al Gore, but Lt. Governor Andre Bauer is coming perilously close to the same pile of self-aggrandizing horse manure that stuck to the former Vice President like a rotten road apple following his infamous "I invented the Internet" remark.
Turns out the lead-footed Lite Gov, whose campaign has been in a tailspin ever since consultant Rod Shealy uber-flubbed Bauer's speeding fiasco several weeks back, is seeking to reinvent himself to voters.
Problem is, he's having to pull an Al Gore to do it.
"When voters start paying attention nearer to the election, they'll focus on Bauer's strong record: reforming the filibuster, shorter lines at DMV, stopping over a billion dollars in new taxes, and, last week, casting the tie-breaking vote to keep property tax relief alive," Shealy said recently in The Greenville News.
Huh? Andre reformed the filibuster?
Actually, Bauer didn't reform the filibuster. Sen. Larry Martin and his staff, working with Sen. Glenn McConnell and Gov. Mark Sanford, did that.
Andre created shorter lines at the DMV? Seriously?
The only contribution Andre Bauer has made to shorter lines at the DMV is not being in one, which is where he should have been had the cops confiscated his license following his 101-mph jaunt down I-77. You can bet your bottom tax dollar that's where anybody else who pulled that kind of reckless indiscretion would have ended up once their suspension was over.
Again, Andre, the governor shortened lines at the DMV, not you.
Andre stopped a billion dollars in new taxes? When? How?
If history has proven anything, it's that the Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina can't stop an angry gnat, let alone a billion dollars in new taxes. In fact, Andre was supposed to lower taxes by delivering RINO Senators Jakie Knotts and Luke Rankin in 2004 on income tax relief in exchange for the plum Office on Aging he got from the Governor's Office.
Except he didn't.
Knotts and Rankin refused to end a filibuster that would have forced a vote on income tax relief in the Senate, and as a result your income tax rate is still effectively the highest in the Southeast.
We're sure Mr. Shealy has some hyper-convoluted, truth-twisting, redneck rationalization for how this latest exaggeration-on-Steroids can appear completely true. It'll probably be similar to the logic he used to convince Jim Miles that he was the frontrunner in the 2002 GOP Gubernatorial Primary, or the circus math he employed to keep Thomas Ravenel from waltzing into the Lt. Governor's Office this election cycle.
Mr. Shealy and other political operatives call it spin.
We call it bull----.