... IRREVERENCE, INSTITUTIONALIZED ...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Shealy Caught Making Out With Sic Willie Mug Shot

FITS has learned that Barbecue and Politics blogger Gervais S. Bridges has been caught making out with a life-sized version of FITS contributor Sic Willie's mug shot.

The oversized police photograph of our doe-eyed hero (left), which is four times the size of a normal head (i.e. Nathan Ballentine) given Folks' enormous ego, was confiscated by University Police after the BBQ blogger was observed licking it on the cheek in his University of South Carolina Office.

"While there is certainly a long-established place for homoerotic fixations at liberal institutions of higher learning, we will strenuously oppose any such demonstrations being made toward Mr. Folks," said USC spokesman Russ McKinney. "He is an entirely inappropriate outlet for an otherwise appropriate emotion."

Bridges, who posts the Will Folks mug shot on his blog at least once a week, could not be reached for comment. A University Police search of his computer, however, turned up a number of disturbing Photoshop documents in which Folks' head and the head of Gov. Mark Sanford had been superimposed on male bodies in various states of undress.

"I've never seen an obsession quite like it," said Dr. Phil Ittupnow, Dean of Gay and Lesbian Studies at Harvard University. "It would appear that the plaintive, forlorn gaze of Mr. Folks' delicious, dark brown eyes have lulled this particular individual into a homoerotic state that defies current clinical diagnosis."

2 Comments:

Blogger NeverEnough said...

Now that's funny!

12:17 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The fact that you used your own hideous mugshot for this blog entry - now THAT'S funny.

8:35 AM

 

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