... IRREVERENCE, INSTITUTIONALIZED ...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Whose Campaign Is It Anyway?

We here at FITS have called State Senator Greg Ryberg a lot of things ... the proud owner of a gargantuan noggin', a total panderer and hypocrite on the gambling issue, the scarer of small children, etc.

But one thing we've never called him is a RINO. That's because as rude and arrogant as he may be on a personal level and as irritatingly brown-nosed as he tends to get when shamelessly sucking up to the governor, for the most part he's a fiscal conservative ... (unless Sanford vetoes Clemson PSA funding again this year, of course, in which case the jury's still out).

That's why we here at FITS were shocked to receive the latest bit of Ryberg propoganda from the "Masters" over at Tompkins, Thompson and Whatever, you know, that consulting firm (a.k.a. RINOcerous factory) over in the Southtrust building that specializes in mortgaging its conservative ideals to suck at the teet of the status quo tax-and-spend-o-cracy.

Anyway, in case you missed the latest Ryberg for Treasurer e-mail, we'll fill you in.

It turns out Big Head Greg and the Monsters won a little straw poll up in Anderson County - home of RINO's Becky Martin and Dan "Egg-tooth" Cooper. Predictably, given the obnoxious size of his cranium (and perhaps the sinking sensation he's getting from his poll numbers), Big Head Greg wanted to send a "personal message" out to all of his "friends" letting them know about his "strong showing."

Forgetting for a moment that a hundred GOP activists in Anderson is about as representative of the South Carolina electorate as Jerry Falwell and James Baker are representative of the Christian faith, everything was going along just swimmingly in the Ryberg camp until one of Tompkins' amateur sabre-rattlers accidentally unsheathed the wrong sword while delivering this Samurai swipe into the underbelly of the Senator's opponents.

As it turns out, the incredibly personal "Greg Ryberg - Gaining Momentum!" e-mail lost a little bit of its intimacy when it was inadvertantly sent out to the entire Ryberg campaign database by none other than Democrat-in-Hiding Bob Staton, another Tompkins client.

That's right. Ryberg groupies everywhere got their latest "Greg Fix" from a very unlikely source, the e-mail address of "Status Quo" Staton himself, info@statonforeducation.com.

Seriously, Warren. You got Tommy Windsor running the IT Department up there or what?

It'll be interesting to see if Tompkins can get his stable of blockheads in line by the time the general election rolls around in November ... that is if any of his candidates even make it past the primary.

As our good friends over at Ryberg-Staton headquarters like to say, "Way to go, geniouses (sic)."

13 Comments:

Anonymous Jack A. said...

Yeah, those guys are as about as smart as the idiot press guy who told his Governor that it would be cool to carry pigs into the State House chamber, forgetting that pigs have the tendency to shit all over the place. Man, nothing screams leadership like being covered in pig shit.

6:01 AM

 
Blogger faithinsound said...

Dear Mr. Jack (Ass?) (Abramoff?),

And who, pray tell, was that idiot press guy?

-FITS

11:55 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shouldn't this race be a lay-up for Ravenel? He has much better name id.

8:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was glad to see that Bob Staton shared with us Greg Ryberg's straw poll results - but inquiring minds want to know what Bob's numbers were. Is he gaining momentum?

8:56 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The pigs in the State House was a clever way to drive home a point - let's be nice and give credit where credit due, jack a.
thanks, fatihinthesound for keeping the day exciting and informative.

1:04 PM

 
Anonymous Casual Observer said...

Ravenel has name the most recent name ID, so does Ryberg from the last race and Quinn has pretty good connections through all the work over the years in the R party...they all have baggage though, question is who has the most...that I think tells the tale

1:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So jack a. I'd not e that we'd not have noticed the pigs in some past years with all the manure that the GOP has inherited...

2:24 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shouldn't it be FIS?

2:43 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

right on about ryberg. thanks for making the staton connection on that email. will vote R this time just to vote for lovelace, but will have fun working through the ballot

7:21 AM

 
Blogger islandsamurai said...

whose idea were those freakin' pigs anyway

7:29 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wilber:

You have reached the nadir, bud - abject insignificance.

And stop posting anonymous posts to your own blog supporting your own posts. It just makes your pathetic-ness more, well, pathetic.

guv

5:49 PM

 
Blogger faithinsound said...

Whoa! Nadir's a pretty big word! We think with Sic Willie, there's no such thing as a nadir!

-FITS

6:49 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There were about 250-300 people at the meeting in Anderson. Staton got a whopping 12.2%, Floyd got 71.10%

1:53 PM

 

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