Thursday, June 01, 2006

2006 Superlatives

FITS and the Queen were proud to team up this year and provide you with the be-all, end-all list of legislative session superlatives. Enjoy yourselves ...

Best Nickname
1st Place – “Pee Dee Rock Star Legislator” Thad Viers
2nd Place – “Mayor of Importantville” Bobby Harrell
3rd Place – “Chairman Eggtooth” Dan Cooper

Best Floor Exchange
Shrek and Donkey – Reps. Chip Limehouse, Michael Thompson

Most Metrosexual Lobbyist
Larry Marchant

Most Disturbing Impromptu Squeal at a Public Bill Signing Ceremony
Kristen Maguire

Queerest Statement from a Governor’s Office Staff Member
Scott English listening to Sen. Clementa Pinckney, “His voice is just so soothing. I wish he would read me a bedtime story.”

Couple Most Likely to Produce Tanned Offspring
Barbara Melvin and Chris Drummond

Most Likely to Be Mistaken for SLED at Pavlov’s
Sen. Scott Richardson

Most Likely to Be Mistaken for Frat Boy at Pavlov's
John Frank

Blogger Most Likely to Misspell Own Name
Paul Adams

Best Group Nickname
1st Place - The TFC
2nd Place – The Millage People

The Two Half Teeth Make a Whole Tooth Award
Laurin Manning and David “Skinny” Haskins

Most Spouses in a 10-year period (ironically all supporters of “parental choice”)
Tie – Larry Marchant, Rep. Dan Tripp and Karen Floyd

The Red Wine Goes Directly to my Cheeks Award
Rep. Nelson Hardwick

Quote of the Year
“Oompa Loompa Steps” by Jimmy Merrill

Pimp My Ride of the Year Award
Rep. Todd Rutherford’s Yellow Golf Cart

Boondoggle of the Year Award
Sen. Glenn “Hunley or Bust” McConnell

Things Never to Say to Sen. Harvey Peeler at a Beer Truck Award
“I just got 90% head” – Laurin Manning

Best Blog Callout
Gervais S. Bridges’ busting Will Folks’ Stiletto Mafia

State House Pocket Pool Champion
Tom Davis

Best Lobbyist Boxers
Mark Sweatman’s “Stop and Go” Glow-in-the-dark Undies

Wardrobe Upgrade of the Year
Sarah "Boxy to Bodacious" Hopper

Bill Cosby Called and Wants His Sweater Collection Back Award
Rep. Tracy Edge

Adventures in Babysitting Award
Heather Singletary (Sic Willie's Assistant)

WWF Smackdown of the Year Award
Jerome Heyward and Rep. Gilda Cobb-Hunter

Candidate Most Likely to Have Gone to School on Short Bus Award
Mike Campbell

Consultant Most Likely to Stage a Plane Crash to Win Reelection
Rod Shealy

Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain Award
Trav Robertson

Most Likely to Spend $2 Million on a Downballot Election and Still Finish in Third Place
Sen. Greg Ryberg

Senate Ladykiller Award
Sen. Vince Sheheen

House Ladykiller Award
Rep. Jim Merrill

Most Powerful Male Legislator
Sen. Glenn McConnell

Most Powerful Female Legislator
Rep. Annette Young

Legislator Most Likely to Die as a Result of Sanford’s Lexington Heart Center Veto
Sen. Jakie Knotts

Best Legislative Event of the Year
Citadel BBQ

Most Fantasized About Legislators
Speaker Bobby Harrell, Rep. Nikki Haley

Most Fantasized About Lobbyists
Michael Gunn, Ashley Smith

Legislator Most Likely to be on the Wrong End of a Female Class-Action Lawsuit
Rep. Ralph “Dildo Baggins” Davenport

That’s all, Folks! See you during the Special Session!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about most likely to beat up defenseless girls sic?

2:15 PM

Anonymous TFC said...

Hopefully, you do not need to be reminded that we all gathered this morning and professed our allegiance to that world to come …


“Blessed are you when men cast insults at you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice, and be glad, for your reward in Heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” – Matthew 5:11-12.

“”Yet Thou wouldst plunge me into the pit, and my own clothes would abhor me.” – Job 9:31

6:36 PM


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