Top Ten Reasons Will Folks is an Idiot
We thought it was pretty funny today when an anonymous commenter accused FITS of censoring your posts on our blog.
We mean, like, really, as if.
If anything, we pride ourselves on being the one blog in South Carolina politics that lets it all hang out - and lets you do the same. Good, bad, ugly, pretty, smart, stupid, perverted, scandalous or just plain funny, people have brains and we trust them to use those brains to figure things out for themselves.
But in keeping with our desire to provoke you just a little bit every once in awhile, Heather S. has done some research that is sure to spark more than its fair share of comments regarding the the number one "most slammed man" in the entire SC blogosphere - our very own Sic Willie.
So, without further adieu, here are the "Top Ten Reasons Will Folks is an Idiot," as compiled by our very own Heather S.:
10. Thought “Kendall Jackson” was a folk singer. It’s actually a brand of wine.
9. Thought the name of Elton John's hit song was “Private Dancer” and that Tina Turner’s hit song was called “Tiny Dancer" (it's actually the other way around). Still pompously maintains that he is right and the CD burned for him featuring both songs is a forgery.
8. Did not learn of the existence of the female urethra until age 29. Most kids pick up this little anatomical tidbit in grammar school.
7. Thought a U.S. President could serve two terms, sit out for four years, and then run again. In fact, actually wrote 250 pages of a political novel with this dynamic as its premise before someone showed him a copy of the 22nd Amendment.
6. Couldn’t tell Santee Cooper lobbyist Geoff Penland and DOE lobbyist Pierce McNair apart for the better part of two years. Still calls them by the wrong names everyonce in awhile, but then again so does everybody.
5. Remains convinced that Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts will one day win the Super Bowl and that his beloved Gamecock football team will win a national championship.
4. Cannot compute simple percentages (or any other fourth grade math, for that matter), even with the help of a calculator.
3. Knows absolutely nothing about computers. In fact, urban legend is that his infamous blog, FaithInTheSound, was created completely by accident while he was trying unsuccessfully to post a comment on another blog.
2. Once burned himself attempting to light a fart.
1. Subconsciously believes that he is a canine. In fact, has been tape recorded barking, growling and whimpering in his sleep. And you thought him thinking he was five women was crazy!
Enjoy, and we look forward to reading your responses ...