Look Out Al-Queda, Here Comes Grady Patterson
Nothing like the sight of a cantankerous 83-year old man to strike fear into the hearts of those who seek to harm America.
Grandpa Grady Patterson, who as it turns out was in New York City today to raise money for his campaign from vested special interest groups, nonetheless managed to send out a press release from his South Carolina office dated "Friday, September 21" (it's actually Thursday, Mr. Treasurer).
Aside from Mr. Patterson not knowing what day it is (no news there), what did the release actually say, you may ask?
Well, after four decades of fighting every attempt to modernize our state's investment strategy, all of a sudden (six weeks before the election, no less) it turns out Mr. Patterson has become the second candidate for Treasurer (T-Rav being the first) to support investing our state retirement money globally like they do in 47 of the other 49 states.
There's just one catch to Mr. Patterson's support - no investment will be permitted in companies or countries with ties to terrorist organizations.
Never mind that just two percent of the world's GDP comes from Middle Eastern nations - the vast majority of which have no ties to terrorist organizations - or that Patterson has waited until the 11th hour of his 36th year in office to finally embrace the same investment strategies most states have been using since the 1960's.
No, the purpose of this release is simple (just like the circa 1970 photos we'll see later in his campaign ads) - Mr. Patterson wants to remind us that he hates terrorism and was once a military fighter pilot.
"When I served in the military as a fighter pilot, I swore an oath to protect and serve. As a member of the State Retirement Investment Commission, I pledge this same oath.” Patterson said in today's statement.
Gee, it was really tough to see that one coming, kind of like it's really tough to see one of those big concrete pylons in the State House parking garage coming (Grady wrecked three state vehicles before somebody finally wised up and took the keys from him a couple years back).
Look, we all owe Mr. Patterson a debt of gratitude for his wartime service, there's no doubt about that, but the sad fact is that he has about as much business running for Treasurer as he does reapplying for a learner's permit.
Whether behind the wheel of a $25,000 state-owned Crown Victoria or guiding the investment of $35 billion in state assets, Mr. Patterson's abilities simply can't be trusted any longer with your money.