Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Theodore Takes "King of the Ladies" Title From Folks

Look how mad Sic Willie is.

Long regarded as the undisputed "King of the Ladies" in the South Carolina political sphere, our favorite bad boy has been asked to give up his crown for just the second time in five years owing to the sudden and unexpected emergence of Democratic Comptroller General Candidate Drew Theodore as a challenger.

"I mean, it's like this guy is Will Ferrell from Wedding Crashers or something," Folks said in relinquishing his title to Theodore. "The innovation is simply astounding. I mean seriously, who would have thought you could use an online automotive forum to scope out hot housewives looking to cheat on their husbands?"

Folks also cited Theodore's impressive garage of vehicles as another contributing factor.

"Chicks dig cars," he said. "I know my '97 Pimpfiniti is a decent ride, but I just can't compete with a guy who's got two Beamers and a Porsche."

And although he disagrees with Theodore's liberal status quo approach to state government, Folks said he found much wisdom in "Drew T's" assessment that automatic transmissions were better than manual ones because, in Theodore's words, "you have other things you want to do with your right hand."

"Oh yeah, baby," Folks said. "I know exactly what he's talking about there. I'm all about automatic transmissions when I'm cruising for Audi-driving housewives."

Folks surrended his title once before - to Chamber of Commerce lobbyist Mark Sweatman in 2004.

"Me and Sweat-dawg really need to go back to the drawing board," Folks said. "This Theodore guy is rewriting the rule book as we speak."

Folks said his first order of business in recapturing the "King of the Ladies" crown would be locating all of the "Drew-T" comments that mysteriously disappeared from Internet after WIS-TV reported on Theodore calling Columbia "the arm pit of the South" in one of his nearly 700 posts.

"Like the wisdom of Solomon, this visionary material must be tracked down and preserved for posterity," he said. "We single guys need all the help we can get."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Classy as always, Will.

4:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read the Theodore postings before he could hide them by jerking them off the net. He seems fascinated with sexy cars, and will work hard and spend LOTS of money to have them.

He also seemed fascinated with "loose women" ...and especially those that drove Audi's...as a poll showed that were the "loosest". He dreamed of partying with the Audi girls, and specifically mentioned leaving his wife at home…oh, so trashy.

Exactly what this state needs...a playboy, sporting around in his sports cars...watching the little people scurry out of his way.

5:22 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man you really showed him Will. Has Shealy or T-Rav doubled your pay yet for these 'hard hitting' posts you have been doing lately? Ridding in a porche, or rather a dead horse, is probably not going to be enough to do the trick so try finding out where Drew Theodore converted about $1,600 worth of value from the state coffers to his personal use and then sock him on it. Main stream media will pick up on it and he will be forced to apologize and write a check back to the state. . . oh nevermind.

7:25 PM

Blogger Palmetto Republican said...

I really have nothing aganist you but, "King of the Ladies"? Come on man...beating your ex, etc.

I also hate how you like Shealy but hate Sanford now. That is a complete swing in the WRONG directon.

You lost your biggest fan.

7:57 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

who gives a sH%$...let's talk about issues or quit diverting the Minnesota family trip with stuff dug up on a blog...or let's at least talk about white powder Ravenel, psychotic Viers, or I'm gay and was molested so that's why I did it Foley

8:33 PM

Blogger faithinsound said...

People, people:

It's entertainment!


9:28 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear that Theodore's fast driving makes Andre look like a grandma out for a Sunday drive. His driving record is atrocious. Of course, he owns an insurance company so his rates don't go up like the rest of us. Prince Drew needs to come clean. He should release his driving record for all to see the truth.

9:40 PM

Anonymous Statesman said...

You guys are so young, or I am too old. Neither Willie nor Theodore have anything on Harvey Peeler and former State Senator Rick Lee.They used to patroll the USC campus in Peeler's Camaro for coeds in the late 80's during session.

10:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"People, people:

It's entertainment!


It was, until it became about people that you are paid to work against in campaigns.

1:50 AM

Anonymous Rob W. said...

Sounds like we need to have an Andre Bauer vs. Drew Theodore rally race.

7:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

folks makes fun of eveybody. even his own clients

9:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Wil, you're missing the obvious!!!

Daddy's Dilettante Drew!!! Live in 3-D!

11:18 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think Peeler may still cruise the campus...but in Lexus now ;)

12:05 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My money's on Andre' he's got wings!

1:07 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee Will you look made enough to kick in some one else's door and throw them into some furnitre - oh WAIT!

7:20 PM


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