Theodore Takes "King of the Ladies" Title From Folks
Look how mad Sic Willie is.
Long regarded as the undisputed "King of the Ladies" in the South Carolina political sphere, our favorite bad boy has been asked to give up his crown for just the second time in five years owing to the sudden and unexpected emergence of Democratic Comptroller General Candidate Drew Theodore as a challenger.
"I mean, it's like this guy is Will Ferrell from Wedding Crashers or something," Folks said in relinquishing his title to Theodore. "The innovation is simply astounding. I mean seriously, who would have thought you could use an online automotive forum to scope out hot housewives looking to cheat on their husbands?"
Folks also cited Theodore's impressive garage of vehicles as another contributing factor.
"Chicks dig cars," he said. "I know my '97 Pimpfiniti is a decent ride, but I just can't compete with a guy who's got two Beamers and a Porsche."
And although he disagrees with Theodore's liberal status quo approach to state government, Folks said he found much wisdom in "Drew T's" assessment that automatic transmissions were better than manual ones because, in Theodore's words, "you have other things you want to do with your right hand."
"Oh yeah, baby," Folks said. "I know exactly what he's talking about there. I'm all about automatic transmissions when I'm cruising for Audi-driving housewives."
Folks surrended his title once before - to Chamber of Commerce lobbyist Mark Sweatman in 2004.
"Me and Sweat-dawg really need to go back to the drawing board," Folks said. "This Theodore guy is rewriting the rule book as we speak."
Folks said his first order of business in recapturing the "King of the Ladies" crown would be locating all of the "Drew-T" comments that mysteriously disappeared from Internet after WIS-TV reported on Theodore calling Columbia "the arm pit of the South" in one of his nearly 700 posts.
"Like the wisdom of Solomon, this visionary material must be tracked down and preserved for posterity," he said. "We single guys need all the help we can get."