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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Aftermath Central

And you thought we meant the aftermath of last night's elections ...

Nope, as it turns out all Sic Willie wanted to talk about last night (and this morning) was pop sensation Britney Spears filing for divorce from her wanna-be rapper husband, Kevin Federline.

"It's like Christmas," Folks said. "Last week it was Reese Witherspoon ditching Ryan Phillipi or whatever his name is and today it's Britney dumping K-Fed."

In fact, our favorite bad boy was so ecstatic about the news of Spears' break-up that he decided against mounting a legal challenge to Republican Mark Hammond's victory in the Secretary of State's race, a contest in which Sic Willie emerged as a last-minute write-in candidate.

"The lawyers say we've got a good case but after a lot of prayer and introspection I've decided to let the Bean (Hammond) have it," he said. "I'm grateful for all the thoughts and prayers I received from so many good friends over the course of my six-minute campaign, but the people have spoken and I hope my supporters will now join me in facing the challenges of tomorrow - like getting Reese and Britney to move to Utah with me. At the end of the day, our campaign for change was all about keeping Utah home to me and polygamy."

In addition to banning gay marriage (which was already illegal), South Carolina's ballot referendum yesterday also made it technically impossible for Folks to marry both Spears and Witherspoon simultaneously in South Carolina.

"I think Britney, Reese and I were all hoping that an activist judge somewhere - New Jersey maybe - would be able to establish the validity of our union here in South Carolina," Folks said. "Now it's looking like Utah is going to be the last resort."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you've also noted that a 19-second excerpt from a sex video purporting to be (and looking a lot like) Britney Spears hit the internet today.

http://www.gawker.com/news/britney-spears/omg-britney-sex-tape-omg-probablymaybe-213240.php

No corn, no nuts. Well, maybe some nuts. But in a different sense.

1:58 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we're talking about "Aftermath" here, i have a question only somewhat related: What happened to Karen Floyd in SPartanburg County. All the other Repub. candidates carried it by many thousands of votes and she won there by only a couple of hundred. Was this an example of "Familiarity breeds contempt?" Help me out somebody.

5:36 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we're talking about "Aftermath" here, i have a question only somewhat related: What happened to Karen Floyd in SPartanburg County. All the other Repub. candidates carried it by many thousands of votes and she won there by only a couple of hundred. Was this an example of "Familiarity breeds contempt?" Help me out somebody.

5:37 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As to Spartanburg, let's just say that there are seven school districts in Spartanburg who took it as their prime mission to defeat Karen Floyd. Whether it was through countless email on their state supplied computer system or the posting of 4 X 8 signs for Jim Rex on school property (both acts are illegal), these school superintendents went to great lengths to do Karen Floyd in.

6:33 PM

 

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